As a guest at the Giuseppe Conlon House, I find homelessness depressingly damaging. The population of refugees, asylum seekers with the right of an appeal, the homeless rural population and those not eligible for housing benefits seems to be missing from the official government figures and data used to determine the overall number of those who are really homeless.
When I found myself admitted into Giuseppe Conlon House, it was clear that, as a homeless person who is type 2 diabetic, it was not just a lack of decent housing that was the problem. There remained the responsibility of family, physical and mental wellbeing, relationship breakdown, immigration, leaving my family, and the bereavement that followed.
I was in the situation of not knowing what to do, who to turn to and how to deal with these serious stressors. My feelings of depression, unhappiness, and disappointment were so severe, I became a perpetual seeker of help. The question remained what kind of help.
The clinical depression I was going through contributed to low moods with difficulty sleeping, change in appetite, hopelessness, pessimism
, and even thoughts of suicide. The disorders and anxieties I have mentioned above are and have been a limiting factor for me in achieving my full potential. Being homeless, without a decent roof over my head, is a serious contributing matter in all this anxious neurosis.
My GP was helpful in one respect: how to feel less lonely. She explained to me that being unwanted is the worst disease that any human being can experience. And that loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important. She suggested I tackle my lonely lifestyle first. She suggested examples like having time for voluntary work: ever since she introduced me to Groundswell, a national charity that supports homeless people, I’ve tried to take more control of my life. I have greater influence on the services I use and aim to play a full role within the community.
I have tried most of the therapies and suggestions put forward by the surgery, such as massage and aromatherapy, attending a theology group, and therapeutic sessions for those who have been victims of persecution and domestic violence. Not to forget chess, puzzles, crosswords or scrabble that I enjoy playing as well. I tried all the above to deal with loneliness.
But I realised that loneliness doesn’t mean social isolation. This was the first lesson that I learnt. As I believe I’m generally a nice and kind person. This is based on the feedback I have received, from people of all walks of life with whom I’ve happened to interact. I have to admit it is not just easy or simple to get on with everyone. Not because I don’t want to get on with people but sometimes due to issues and things beyond my reasoning, I try to avoid fellows who invade my privacy that can cause despair. This is not to say intrusions are unwelcome. I like intrusions that are necessary for health.
It was through focusing on these activities, that I found empowerment and self awareness, and therefore the ability to treat my mental health issues and also address the serious barriers to finding a home.
Giuseppe Conlon House is for me an emergency solution. It has alleviated the problem of not knowing where to turn. Here, I’m no longer facing the diseases and symptoms that come with homelessness. For instance diarrhoea, which may pass as a minor inconvenience to the well-housed, can present a major hurdle for a homeless person.
There remains the task of uplifting my soul, establishing a hopeful future. And getting out of homelessness. At the moment my situation is: firstly continuing with what works for me, and secondly continuing at Giuseppe Conlon House. Both these require a process of adapting to changing environments, to growing up and ageing, to healing when damaged, to suffering. Lastly, tackling my homelessness embraces the future and so includes anguish and the inner resources needed to live with it. This aloneness is an aspect of the human condition, and out of it grows my creativity.
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